soccerisnotlife.com commercials
My fiancé's car broke down, so I gave her a ride to and from work, prior to my own work; thankfully, my work was at home today, so when it became a little slow, I was able to indulge in a nap to catch up on my sleep. Prior to actually falling asleep, I had an idea - actually, I had two or three ideas, all along a theme, of which I can only remember the first one. There were a series of TV commercials for a bogus website, soccerisnotlife.com, about how it would look like if people acted in the outside world, like they do on the soccer pitch. I tried, as I said, to piece together all the ideas, but only the first one stayed in memory long enough for me to expand on.Here's the rough idea I came up with (those who actually write scripts can tell me how awful my formatting is):
INT: Grocery store, a cross between a Wegman’s and a Lunds; a notch above today’s warehouse stores, but not carpet covered with chandeliers. Leave image on the screen for a moment then cut to the check-out counter. Cashier is running items over a scanner.
Man (angry, anxious): C’mon, c’mon!
Cashier (still scanning, eyeballing man - she scans in a head of lettuce)
Man: That was off by a penny! Angrily gestures/points at cashier. That lettuce is ninety-nine cents - can’t you see that? What’s the matter with you?!
Cashier: Sir? Points up to ceiling, camera pans up to large sign that says: Lettuce $1.00
Man (livid - but feining innocence): I never said 99 cents. You know what? It’s you. You don’t know what you’re doing. You can’t even get an item on the first scan! You have no business scanning my groceries. I’m going to find you manager and complain, and you’ll never be allowed by a cash register again! Cashier just rolls eyes and continues her work.
Man continues screaming when a woman, juggling a full basket and two children comes into line. One of the children starts crawling out of the basket child-seats, she grabs the child, causing the cart to nudge the Man on rear or back of the leg.
Man (grabs face, writhing in pain, screaming between sentances): Oh, god! Did you see that? Right in the face! Call the cops! Call an ambulance! Assassin! Assassin!!
Fade to black, display in a plain white font: What if we treated other people like we did referees?
Fade to black, replace with text: SoccerIsNotLife.com
The second had something to do with comparing referees to cops, and ref's being able to user tasers, but that's as much as I remember.