Updated text
Here's the updated text of the letter I wrote - I cleaned up some of the language, and added a few more things. I didn't mention anything about the alcohol, because I can't confirm it.July 10, 2005
Dear _____ and _____:
I’m writing about a situation that occurred the morning of July 9, at _____ _____, and want to make sure that my issue is put to paper. I’m also writing because the situation puts _____ in an awkward position because it deals with a person she is a friend with; having been in these situations myself, I’ve always found it easier, for all parties involved, to move the issue up a level, rather than try to balance the responsibilities of job and that of friendship.
I was assigned to referee the Inter-A playoff game between _____ _____ and _____; late in the first half, I yellow-carded "_____" for dissent (I’m afraid I don’t recall his last time, and that’s always been what _____ has called him; if you need more details, he’s _____ and he also refs for _____), he then made an obscene gesture which earned him a send-off, followed by him saying obscene language, and then threatening me.
Here is the entire incident, complete with the language used :
It started with a handing call that _____ wanted me to make, that I didn’t (that it was inadvertent, and that the ball fell right to one of his own teammates is largely irrelevant, but included to put the rest of the incident into context); he carried on for a good 10-15 seconds, and after I asked him to quiet down he continued unabated, and actually increased his volume. I told him he was booked, and let play continue as possession had changed and stopping play would have been a disservice to the attacking team.
When the ball went out of play, I proceeded to yellow card _____ for dissent, which he returned with a “Fuck You” gesture - I found one website that referred to is as a “Forearm Jerk”, where one hand is slapped to the upper arm, which raised and balled in a fist. Since abusive language also covers gestures, I red-carded _____, and he said two things: the first was “Fuck you,” and then as he walked away, “I’ll kick the shit out of you later.”
Unfortunately, the problems with _____ continued on the sideline: he started agitating, saying, “The referee is a wanker.” He claims it was not said to me, and while maybe not directly to me, he had been sent-off, already threatened me, and was continuing to be grossly inappropriate; so I ordered him to the parking lot. He refused to go, and I suspended the game for approximately three minutes until he left (had this not been a playoff game with no score, I would have likely terminated the game outright).
In the second half, he came back onto the sideline, wearing a referee jersey, although he caused no more problems that I am aware of. It’s also worth noting that he was not scheduled to referee following that game, in fact, he played in the next game.
I am well aware that I am no saint as a player; I’ve earned both yellow and red since refereeing; I have no problem with that. However, in a situation where anyone is threatened with violence, circumstances have clearly crossed over any acceptable boundary lines. In my case, it should not matter how good or bad a referee I am, or the job I’m doing, threatening violence should be unacceptable.
I think you will understand that while I’ve honored my commitment to referee additional games on the 10th, that I cannot accept more until I feel I’m working in an environment that I feel safe and respected in. I look forward to hearing how this situation is resolved.
With greatest respect,
_____ _____